How Can I Care for My Two-Headed Rat?
A rat can make a wonderful pet—a two-headed rat, doubly so. Here’s some advice to help you raise a healthy, happy polycephalic rodent.
Two heads may be better than one, but they’re also hungrier. Remember to feed your rat at least once a day. That’s once a day per head. Pellet food, also known as kibble, is a great source of protein. Small cubes of cheese, baby carrots, and unsalted nuts can be offered at snack time. Resist the temptation to feed your rat table scraps or bits of cardboard, as this will encourage poor nutrition. Also, make sure to store your rat’s food on a high shelf. You don’t want the mice getting at it.
Make a nest for your two-headed friend out of an old shoebox lined with shredded newspaper. Wood shavings can also be used to mask certain unpleasant odors associated with your rat. Just remember: no cage can hold a determined rat—especially one with two brains. They are born escape artists.
Let your rat out once a day for a play session. Use that time to bond with your rat and teach it tricks using simple commands such as “Sit up,” “Give paw,” and “Bite mailman.” Encourage the heads to talk to each other. However, keep your rat away from young children and other pets, because they may get scared and attack your rat. Don’t forget: it is only natural to be terrified by a two-headed animal.
As you might expect, two-headed rats often have special health considerations. But if your veterinarian insists on charging twice the normal rate to treat your rats, you should take your business elsewhere.
Shopping List for Your Two-Headed Rat
- Rat cage with bedroom set (make sure to get two pillows)
- Ratty Litter (if you don’t know what this is, you’ll soon find out)
- Matching food and water bowls
- Stuffed toys (small birds are best)
- Copies of all Tales from Lovecraft Middle School books (read to your rat at bedtime!)